1
Massive Disappointment
"One massive disappointment?" Kid, that's a wicked understatement. The T is more reliable than these clowns, and that thing catches on fire once a week.
3
Broken Homes
New address, same loserscant renovate a backbone, pal.
5
All-Time Game 7 Losses to the Bruins
Five Game 7 losses to us? FIVE?! That ain't a rivalry, pal. That's our goddamn property. We own real estate in their heads, and the rent is due every spring.
10
Captains Who Couldn't Get It Done
Ten captains? Christ, I've had bar rags with more leadership than these guys. That 'C' on their jersey stands for 'Choke,' kid.
18
General Managers to build a losing team
Eighteen GMs? They could hire God himself and he'd quit after a year. You can't build a winner with a buncha bums who skate like they're wearin' cinder blocks.
19
Year Playoff Series Win Drought (2004-2023)
Nineteen years without winnin' a fuckin' series? Kid, I've got half-empty PBRs in the back of my fridge older than that streak. It's fuckin' pathetic.
40
Head Coaches Hired & Fired
Forty coaches. Hey, geniuses, at some point ya gotta realize it ain't the guy behind the bench. It's the curse of the stupid fuckin' leaf on the front.
1967
The last time they mattered
My friggin' grandfather watched that on a TV the size of a toaster. It's not a legacy, it's a goddamn history lesson.
0
Days Since Their Last Stanley Cup
That number goes up faster than the price of a pint down at the Gahden. Unbelievable.
37+ MILLION
Estimated Disappointed Fans In Arena Since 1967
Thirty-seven million disappointed fans? Holy hell. That's more people than I've poured beers for in fifteen years. Good. Let 'em suffer.
$3+ BILLION
The estimated cost of winning absolutely nothing
Three billion dollars? For nothin'?! For that kinda cash I could buy my old bar, the whole damn block, and still have enough to pay Marchand to chirp 'em for the rest of his life. Wicked waste.
Maple leaf tears
∞
A River of Tears